I really wanted to write a blog to finish out 2015. I had specific lines in my head that I wanted to write and I was going to post it on Facebook before I deactivated my account so that I could get more traffic.
BUT, the days kept coming and going without my computer being opened.
I had several blogs already written from months ago, saved on my computer but never posted. They are bursts of words exploding from moments of inspiration. They are really good too, but I never shared them.
I heard Elizabeth Gilbert talk about the story that you need to write and how it might be different from the story you publish. I love that there are expressions of my creativity that no one will ever see and that the process of creating it serves the purpose of the creation.
It’s really tempting to share every thing we create because we crave affirmation and approval. We want the praises of people to confirm that what we did for ourselves is valued and qualified.
I think that’s why those blogs were never shared. I want to preserve that sacred space in my soul where creativity and inspiration and life happen. It is a revolutionary thought for me to realize that I don’t have to give everything away. Therefore, when I do give parts of myself or when I share that sacred space with someone, it is genuine and powerful.
In 2016, I want to carve out more spaces in my life that no one sees. The last few years have been a journey for me to be less open with the world. It sounds counter-intuitive and opposite of what our pop-culture would preach but for me it is balance and centeredness. That doesn’t mean that I won’t be vulnerable, but it does mean that when I am vulnerable the outcome does not destroy me. It means that I will bare my soul but only to those who are worthy of it. And when the time comes to share those tender parts of my soul with the world, the healing will be complete.
It feels like a deep breath of fresh air to be able to say that I am worthy and to live accordingly. My entire being is at rest because it is finally being treated with respect, not by all the surrounding influences or voices but by myself. What peace there is when I am in alignment with heaven.
I can love and respect myself because God first loved and respected me.