I like to do things fast.
I typically speed when I drive (sorry, mom). On Christmas morning, I want to open all my presents at once – but I restrain the urge. When I get new things, I want to use them immediately – and I usually do. If I know what I want, I’m going to get it. What’s the point in waiting around? I often make fast, impulsive decisions. My emotions and feelings dictate much of how I choose to live life.
This is not a surprise to anyone who knows me.
I woke up this morning with a thought…“I’ve never really had to wait for anything in my life.”
I must sound like such a brat, but I admit that for most of my life I have usually been able to get what I want when I want it. But the sweet mercy of God doesn’t let this happen forever and reminds me of his sovereignty. He holds onto things until the time is right. And he’s not slow…as I would count slowness. But he’s so patient and merciful with me, seeing the value in waiting.
The waiting makes me dependent. It makes me live by faith. It removes me from the throne of my life and exalts the only one worthy. It humbles me. And it challenges me to hope for something more.
Today these verses hit me like a sword straight to my spirit:
“I will take my stand at my watchpost and station myself on the tower, and look out to see what he will say to me, and what I will answer concerning my complaint.
And the LORD answered me: “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it. For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end – it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.”
I’ve found hope in the waiting and the slowing down, even though it’s not my natural tendency. And I’m reminding myself to not go so fast and practice a lifestyle of patient surrender.