I’ve been asking some questions lately…
Specifically one that was inspired by a Tuesday night Bible study with Caroline Schandel. Does faith have any place to land in my life? There was a time when I determined to only live for the impossible things. I wrote a blog about it and even dared to say this…
“I have come to the realization and confession before Almighty God that I do not care if I am not in control, or if I cannot see one step in front of me. I do not care if everything around me seems impossible; I want the highest that God has for me. I want to live in such a place that if God does not show up, I will fall flat on my face because I am so inadequate without him. I want the kind of faith that puts all of my weight on God’s promises and watches his faithfulness carry me through all things.”
It’s easy to believe this and be so fired up about this in the moment and on the mountain top. It’s tested when you’re in the valleys and surrounded by increasing uncertainty, questions and practicality.
Can I really have faith for something without escaping the responsibility of life?
Because I don’t think that sitting around, doing nothing proves a higher level of faith. I think that faith is actually proved in the risk and the trials. Those who are willing to face the fear, try and fail, and explore the unknown are walking in more faith than those who are unsure about the future but just sitting around and waiting for signs in the sky about their destiny.
Caroline made the point that just like the disciples in Mark 13, we often want the ‘what and when’ questions answered because it makes us feel safe, but Jesus doesn’t answer their questions in the way they expect so that he can protect the space for faith in their lives. If we knew all the answers or lived off of clear signs from God, where would faith and trust play into our journey? Even worse, where would relationship play into it? Anyone can follow signs. But I would guess that Jesus is more concerned with trust and faith.
So what I am getting at is that I still want to ask God for the highest! I’ve been reminded again and again that this is what I want, even when it requires more of me. And I am learning how to make the space for faith in my life and believing for the absolute best!