I have been wandering quite a bit lately. And to be honest, wandering while self-focused. With all the Valentine’s day activity and with the extra desire for love that has come with my 26th year, I’ve gotten a little carried away.
And tonight I had a thought about Solomon. How is it that such a wise man, with a heart so passionate that God would use his love story as an allegory of his love for the church, would say ‘everything that is done under the sun is vanity and a striving after the wind?’ Was his pursuit of the woman he writes about in Song of Songs all vanity? Was all the good he accomplished as king pointless?
In focusing on myself so much, I have seen things around me become meaningless. And even in my desires to meet someone and start a different season of life, I realize that I have been living in vanity, futility, emptiness. How depressing! No wonder I struggle with contentment.
If I could get my eyes off myself long enough, I might actually feel some purpose and the devil’s cover would be blown. If he can keep me distracted with myself, how can I have time to pray for, serve and focus on others?
I think that maybe Solomon wasn’t satisfied at the end of his life because it had become so much more about himself rather than others. Mike Paschall wrote a great blog for today (the day after V-day) about sowing love rather than just being bummed about not being in a romantic relationship.
I am thinking that this is the key.
Not learning how to flirt, or being proactive about singleness, or signing up for Grouper. But sowing love into others. Taking the focus off of myself and choosing to listen for whatever God has for me today.
Yes, I desperately want to go on a date. And I would love for someone to be interested in me and find me fascinating…who wouldn’t? But I also think that I am not going to focus on that too much and rather meet new people for the sake of sowing love and service into those around me.
Or at least I’m going try…we’ll see how it goes.