Can I be real?
My life feels completely out of control.
One look at the backseat of my car, my unkept room, and my often un-styled hair would probably give it away. And to be honest, I don’t know how to pull it all together. I don’t know how to make it balance. And it’s starting to wear on me.
Every night I fall asleep exhausted and yet feeling like I accomplished nothing. I get to work and of course, there is no organization unless I create it for myself. Too many things happening that I do not have a grasp on. Too many things to be done that I barely understand. All the while, I am training other people on what I am still figuring out how to do.
Sometimes I could just cry. Other times I could scream. Often times, I do both. But I’m not sure how much it helps.
Crying and screaming make me feel a little better, but then things are still a mess. My car still needs to be cleaned, my room needs help, and my job isn’t slowing down anytime soon.
Is it wishful thinking to have all of this under control? Is it unrealistic to just want a break from it all? To stop everything and just breathe, and get things in my life back in order? Or do I need to learn how to balance it and push through? Maybe I am just getting a lesson in time management and priorities. Because I’m sure it doesn’t get any easier when you add a husband, a few kids, bills, etc.
Some days are better than others. I guess today is just not one of those days.